8 September 2022

Yesterday, I had breakfast at The Chelsea Hotel with a dear friend. She’s obsessed with The Chelsea Hotel and is staying there, every time she strays in NYC. I count myself lucky to have her in my life, since I lost a some friends and family during the CRAPTASTIC COVID CRISIS. Those that remain mean the world to me.

Continuing with the theme of REUNITED & IT FEELS SO GOOD, I headed to Brooklyn to rehearse with The Dazzle Dancers. God, that was fun! No one knows how long it’s been since we were all in the last room together, much less REHEARSING TO PERFORM!! Today is the day. Today is why I’m in NEWYORKFUCKINGCITY -the reason for this trip. Machine Dazzle, beloved costumer to the Dazzle Dancers is having a retrospective exhibition at The Museum of Art and Design (MAD). It’s 2 FUCKING FLOORS FOR GODS SAKES! Machine deseres this recognition. Truly a visionary, he’s been transforming trash and trimmings into glamorous couture for the past 30 years. Somehow the streets of NYC pushed us into each other and the rest is QUEER MAXIMALISM!

The Dazzle Dancers are my devilish, dancer cohorts from a millennia ago. We’ve remained friends and frenemies since the 90s. Though there have been a couple of bumps (booty & road) shared between us, our motto is and always will be #loveeachother. Love doesn’t pay the bills, but it does feel good.

I immediately went the wrong way after exiting the subway. After walking around for nearly an hour I finally found the rehearsal space. I didn’t know where I was going. When I lived in New York, I’d always been a Manhattan Fag. I’d wanted to be a Brooklyn Homo, but the Gay Gods knew it was too far for me to crawl home.

Soon, Dazzle, Butta, & Negro Noir Dazzle walked up. Smiles and hugs were shared between us. As I reflected how happy I was that we weren’t dead, Rinky Dink, Sochny, Robbie & Cherry Dazzle appeared. It was a lovely reminder it was of how beautiful life can be.

Cherry & Sochny Dazzle brought the moves and music together for this pinnacle of a performance. Incorporating some signature moves, like, Serve The Turkey and explosions on the soundtrack, these would be the tools to transport our Time Machine. Our love bubble blew up to bursting point when Chunky Cupcake and Dasani Destiny Propecia Dazzle showed up. LOVEEACHOTHER! We had 2 rehearsals to gather our glittered gams, so this shit had to count!

(The following are rehearsal screams and thoughts)

5-6-7-8!

RIPPLE!

FROM THE TOP!

BOTTOM FROM THE TOP!

I’M CHANGING IT!

BUT WE JUST GOT IT!

Sounds like someone’s still a bossy bottom.

Jesus. I was exhausted, but I was going to make it through this, come hell or high water.

Finally, break time was upon us. This was a perfect time to pass out the commemorative tote I’d designed for the occasion. I’d asked everyone to submit a pic, and only 2 out of 12 people did. Either no one believed I was making it, or they hated my photo shop endeavors from the past. HEY! Masterpieces don’t just happen the first time- OK?

This time I struck gold. Fashioned after a porn magazine cover, I made a BEDAZZLED CHAMPUSSY. iron on tote. Machine had always referred to his champagne as Champussy, so it seemed apropos

After rehearsal wrapped up, we got margaritas and snacks. I would be terrified to know how many margaritas I’ve had with this crew in the past. Truth is, their company has always been the most delicious.

#loveeachother

PERFORMANCE TOMORROW!

Insert Champussy bag still and link to TODDITES to buy it